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Working on a gay erotic novel for the first time...would this keep you reading?
I'm a professional writer. As a day job, and having had two books published under my own name. For the first time I've started working on a gay erotic novel, just to try it out.
This genre is new to me and feels strange so far. It's as though I'm still really only finding my feet with it because I've never attempted this kind of writing before. I like the challenge.
So I thought I'd test drive the opening, the first couple of pages, here on GBT, if anyone's interested. Openings always make a difference, and I try to get them right. It makes it easier to just get into a flow after that. And I've noticed erotic writing gets posted or shared here from time to time.
I'd welcome and appreciate any feedback, good or critical, bearing in mind this is just the opening pages (so nothing sexual happening yet), and bearing in mind this will be a full length novel, not a short story.
If you were reading a gay erotic novel opening like this would you keep reading? Why or why not?
https://danieltournierbooks.wordpress.com/2017/01/02/erotic-novel-draft-first-pages/
I love words and therefore writing.I admire writers.I read the opening pages of your gay erotic novel.The presentation is very beautiful.Your descriptive style creates a visual effectThe flow of narration.makes the reading interesting.You can certainly write a good gay erotic novel.I am waiting for the full novel.Wish you all the success in your endeavor.
I'm sorry to say, I didn't find it too interesting, Daniel, but then I don't particularly like stories that don't move along faster in the first few pages. I have to admit though that you write much more beautifully and descriptively than I do. There are a lot of writers who write in a style similar to yours and who are very successful, so don't take my comment too much to heart.
I think you should post portions over your story on Literotica where you will get many more views (and comments) than you will here. My latest story there already has over 1000 views after only a week and some interesting comments as well. (I suspect I would have gotten a better response there if I had placed it in the Gay Male category rather than Romance. That was stupid of me.
Good luck by all means.
Good - I would read more
Great start, Daniel, very cinematic (I can see the scene behind opening credits, maybe, were it ever to be adapted). Keep going! I can barely wait for what follows. Too bad though that we know going in that it's gay story, otherwise there might be some beguiling ambiguity to the scene. Could a use wee bit of editing here and there. For example: "As if to accompany it, the muffled sound of a radio suddenly blared out crudely but distantly from the next door motel room, the twang and crooning of country music." "Muffled" and "blared" are at odds as are "distantly" and "next door". And I would say more simply, "from the room next door" as we know he's at a motel.